#[ he's more focused on golems though Lily put him in his fucking place for thinking that way bcs the moment he's like
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forever thinking about how ellis' schizophrenia was simmering in the back of his mind but probably wouldn't have flared up until he was older if he hadn't walked in the fade as a non-magic user
#ooc.#the most horrific thing he thinks he ever experienced was what happened in the mage tower#by the time he gets to the deep roads he is so desensitized he's Over It#[ he's more focused on golems though Lily put him in his fucking place for thinking that way bcs the moment he's like#' well branka has a point '#lily kicks the shit out of him (rightfully) ]#but i will forever be thinking about how he as someone was afraid of magic & that fear being Proven but also as someone who#becomes desinsitized to that fear via exposure#like i dont think there is an ' aha magic good ' moment for him ever#but he just get more scared of other things & doesn't have the energy to think that way anymore#magic as a tool regardless of consequences#i will also note that walking in the fade slapped him like a bad mushroom trip it Fucks Him Up#i have a post somewhere about it but it is super outdated but i would love to dig into it sometime#when he does eventually seek out help & get medicated i also like to think it is the thedas version of magic mushrooms he just microdoses#on an actual schedule to keep his brain from going >:(((#idk i a m thinking about him today
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